The Revelation of Growth

A few months ago, something happened that completely surprised me. I was cooking dinner and listening to praise music. Suddenly I began to thank God for the experience of having trigeminal neuralgia. I thanked Him for the experience. As I gave God praise, I realized that I was actually thanking Him for my own transformation.

In the Word, we are instructed to give thanks in all things. I had learned, during the illness, that praise was necessary. During the most excruciating moments, I learned to send praises up to Heaven. I did not thank God for the pain. I thanked Him for sustaining me. I praised Him for the healing that my spirit knew would come. I thanked Him for Jesus, who redeemed me through His death on the cross.

I had also praised God in the midst of pain because I wanted to fight the enemy, the one who had brought the illness. Always with me, God taught me to fight the good fight of faith. One day October 24, 2006, I was finally healed as I prayed and as others prayed with me. The touch from Jesus effected a change in my life. Although the pain left immediately, my body was very weak from enduring agony for an extended period. My faith, however, had grown strong.

How wonderful it feels to pray for others now instead of always being on the receiving end of prayers. My prayers still include praise. I cannot forget what Jesus did for me. When I thanked God yesterday for the experience of the pain, it was not the actual pain I cherished. I value the fact that I am no longer the same person that I was before trigeminal neuralgia attacked me. Although I was a Christian when I became ill, I did not love God with my whole heart. I held some of it back for me. It was my own bit of rebellion, a desire to choose the course for my own life.The transformation has resulted in wanting God to choose my direction. Now I realize that I truly am not my own. I belong to Him, and surrendering my will is a privilege rather than a battle. Jesus is my first love, and it feels so good to be cradled in His arms.